Concentration

I was listening to this (notice that this is the London cast and not the Broadway cast.) I just purchased it today because of a need to have every recording of my favorite shows. In this recording, there is the following line:

You taught me about concentration. At first I thought that meant just being still, but I was to understand it meant much more. You meant to tell me to be where I was - not some place in the past or future. I worried too much about tomorrow.

I like when suddenly, out of nowhere, you receive a message that you need to hear.

I am Crazy About...

My dearest lady-mother-to-be had an idea for my blog: Food. I talk about it endlessly, as well as making it and eating it. I have a restaurant recommendation, but I am not going to do that tonight. It will take too long. Tonight is another music-ish blog.

Today was a little bit of a sad day here in NY. When the day was said and done, it was two beautiful comments of hope that lifted my spirits. And because of that I want to pass a long some happy music. When do I do that?

I AM CRAZY ABOUT THE NOISETTES. Watch this and see why:

DON'T GIVE UP

For Now

As I grow older, and time goes by faster, I feel that it is easy to remember the message of the close of AVENUE Q:

Don't stress,
Relax,
Let life roll off your backs
Except for death and paying taxes,
Everything in life is only for now!
Each time you smile
It'll only last a while.
Life may be scary
But it's only temporary

There's just something comforting in that.

Unexpected Smiles

Today I was taking a walk around Astoria and listening to some music. Sometimes when I looooove a song, I tend to stroll, and avoid getting where I am going until said song is completed. So that was happening, and at a crosswalk I let a woman in an SUV make a right turn ahead of my crossing. She beeped. Being used to hearing that sound in a negative tone, my first thought was "Oh you be-otch!" However, she extended her right hand and gave me a thumbs up. I walked all the way home with a big stupid grin.

Some days it's all about the little things...

A Boy and His Soul

Sometimes I work too much. Way too much. So much I get grumpy.

And then I can go into the theatre, watch something I helped make, and feel so proud.

And sometimes, other people like it too.

It's such a great feeling.

Die, Vampire Die!

That may have been copyright infringement. I hope that is not true!

A couple of years ago, I was blessed to work in a place that presented this show.

In the song this entry is titled for, I was taught to stop listening to the demons in my head that make me think things that I do aren't good enough.

Today it was printing up pictures. Stupid, because they are pictures that I am hanging up in my apartment. In my head, I heard "Why would you hang up that picture?"

Then Susan Blackwell swooped in and staked the vampire. It was awesome. Thanks Susan!

Content

Its so nice to sit at home. It's quiet. No Big T screaming at the 14 year-old. No threats of death to my 80 year-old landlord/extra grandmother for moving some shoes. You know moving shoes is punishable by death in some circles.

Tonight was unexpectedly pleasant. Rehearsal went so much better than I thought it would. People that are fundamentally different came together to get the job done. There was something so refreshing about it. Now if only the country can do that.

Stupid Stupid

Don't take on work, a show, and moving all at the same time again. Ever.

I Win!

Not really. But it is a small accomplishment.

Two weeks ago, while I was on vacation, Kristen was supposed to start packing. This would start the motivation so that we would not end up two days from August and start freaking out. She didn't, and I am sure thinks that I won't either. Although that would mean that I would be assuming, and you know what happens when you assume?

I packed six boxes, my winter coats, hats and accessories. Only five million more things to go. I will of course save the pictures and kitchen supplies until the end.

Food Post #1

A dear coworker took me to the Green Market this past Friday and opened up a new world for me. Unfortunately, the first time I was around enough to cook was today, so the broccoli that looked so good lost all of its green color, and the strawberries melted. That was very sad to me. I love strawberries. However, they melted all over the counter, and the fragrance is so amazing I kind of want to leave it there and not clean it up. It's a black counter top so you can't see it. That's not gross, right?

My life has totally changed as she convinced me to buy kale. I don't think I have ever really had it on its own. I sautéed it in garlic and olive oil, seasoned with salt and pepper, topped some left over couscous with it and then topped that with two eggs over easy. It was a delightful brunch that I thought I would share. Go out and get some kale!!!

It's Been a Long Time

I feel like I have an excuse this time: My computer is a wreck. I think I have to reinstall everything. AGAIN! I just did it in January. And the power jack is about to break off! I dream of buying a macbook. After the move. And the New Year. arrrgh.

Anywho, I went home to spend some time with my mom for her birthday. It was very nice. I actually got to sit and relax. We grilled, we did yard work, we got stuck in a flood. Yeah that's true. A 10 minute car ride took an hour and a half due to a freak storm. Some of that time was spent sitting in a parking lot to stay off of the submerged road. About 30 minutes after we got home the power went out. I didn't mind. It was nice to lay on the couch and take in the house that I grew up in. It's been so long since I have had the time to do that.

Quality time all around.

A New Home

Yesterday my roommate gave my landlord the news: We are looking for a new apartment and plan to be out by August. I am sad that she did it alone, as our landlord was sad and made a production out of it. She said we were her favorite tenants ever and she would kick out her grandkids and would renovate our apartment if it would make us stay. Its such a lovely gesture, but it is time for us to move on, and she will most likely be able to charge more for apartment than we were paying anyway.

So now I am starting the process of cleaning out the things that I have not touched in years. Sadly, I found hair product. Wow. That went away a long time ago. Sheesh. I don't even remember using it!

I also made my first dreaded trip to the Goodwill. That hurt. I took two garbage bags of clothes and books and walked fourteen blocks with them. That may not seem far, but it was. Oh it was. I think I will rethink that process.

Moving is exciting.

Blog!

I know there would people a few people who read this blog who would be interested in having some Playful Noshings. As we all know, I love food, and I am excited by reading about food. It's even more exciting when someone from my past, who happens to now be a nutritionist writes about food! Although I must say I am sad that her TV debut had to be about mushrooms, and hearing her talk about them makes me want to try them again even though I gag thinking about them.

Easter

Easter was such a great time. I started playing with my new camera. I didn't do a very good job the first time around and there were some fuzzy pictures!! I did find this nifty slide show thing that Picasa does. Here are the pictures that turned out okay. I forgot to take pictures of some of the food before we ate it, however, I did get the customary shot of ham that I like to take. Enjoy.

Hump Day

Sometimes Wednesdays make me feel like I am walking through a swamp; using lots of energy and just not getting anywhere. This one is no exception. I am excited for the weekend. I am going to make my first Easter Ham. True, it's already cooked, but I am going to make my own glaze for it. But more importantly, I am going to spend the day with three wonderful people with whom I love to spend time. I will take plenty of pictures.

Already Monday?!

Why does it always feel like weekends are never long enough?!

Thoughts for the Day

I hate that there are no bullet points on blogspot.

[bullet point] This morning I woke up angry. Maybe a bad dream, maybe chemical imbalance in the brain. Who knows? What I am sure of is that I have a great friend who took me to lunch in hopes of making me feel better. For that I am grateful.

[bullet point] Congrats to the everyone involved with the revival of Hair. It was so awesome to be there on the Gypsy run, and I love this review
Also their website is pretty cool too!

[bullet point] To quote the Indigo Girls, "You have to laugh at yourself because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't." I like that saying and the day has that feel to it.

Mental Health

Today was good day: Brunch followed by hanging out at the apartment. We have been listening to musicals a lot at work, and my selection on my ipod was so limited compared to all of the stuff that I have at home. It's so funny because over the past couple of years, I have gone away from the musical theatre cd genre, and today I have been able to see what stood the test of my time. For example the song Hero and Leander is still good, sadly Love Changes Everything just does nothing for me. Nothing. And that was my high school anthem. Sorry Sir Andrew!

I also journaled a little bit. I need to do that more.

If I were to fill out one of those "25 things" surveys on Facebook, one would have to be that people don't know that my feelings can get hurt very easily. I am working on getting thicker skin but there's only so much you can do. Feelings are feelings. Anywho, it was nice to put some things down on paper and be done with it.

I am not sure if I posted this earlier, but it's fun regardless - and probably very wrong:

Change

I am constantly reminded how things come and go. Like the tide. Tonight I was watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy thinking "I can't believe how horrible this show was a couple of months ago. They have really turned things around." So things seem a little scary now. I am going to keep positive that they will turn around.

I'm Working On It

Things I am working on:

Getting rid of my spare tire.

Meditating/ doing more yoga.

Being more positive about myself. As a coworker told me the other day, I need to "live up to my greatness." I respect her artistically so I guess I will take that to heart.

Not taking things so personally.

I wish that these things came more naturally to me, but what can you do? Keep trying and hope that it sticks!

A Day Off...

I am gearing up for a day off tomorrow. Apparently I am old because I am going to take off on Saint Patty's day and go to the gym, do my laundry and mop some floors. The O-Mop by Method Cleaning Products makes mopping awesome.

Tonight I saw a great reading. Then my friend and I grabbed Taco Bell. We sat down to eat, and Taco Bell brought the big steel cover down on the front of the store. It was creepy. I thought we may have been held hostage. Not so much. We went out a side door.

That's not that exciting of a story, actually.

I think I may buy a new copy of The Artist's Way tomorrow. I lost my copy, and quite frankly, I need to feel more artsy at the moment.

Balance

New rule:

I need to learn to take a compliment and believe people when they give them to me.

I got a lot of them today. It meant a lot.

I miss TBC already...

Parting

I am totally a baby about closing certain shows. I get really sad. I think I am starting to feel it with this one...

Envy

I find it very embarrassing to laugh out loud on a plane. My first time was on Jet Blue. Every TV has its own personal television, and while flipping through the channels, Betty White appeared to me - on the best show ever - Match Game. I had only heard of its greatness but never experienced. I could not help but watch and laugh. And then blush. And laugh again.

The same experience happened to me last Thursday on my flight to the Chicago area. This time is was When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris.

The following is one of the essays in this book. I love it. His storytelling is perfect. I hate him.

Late Night Twist

Today I seemed to be a Debbie Downer. Last week was hard. Being stuck in bed is no fun, and worrying that I would not be able to travel on Thursday took it's toll. Getting back to work after a week was nerve-racking. I will catch up. Hopefully. This week. I am crossing my fingers. While riding the subway, I pulled out a Time Magazine. I couldn't read any articles. It depressed me. In the back of my mind I was thinking about all of the difficult choices that have to be made - we all have to do what is best for us in the long run - but sometimes that answer is not clear.

Last week a friend's Facebook status was "...wishes life had one of those magic 8 balls to shake." I feel that - maybe not so we have all of the answers, maybe to just take the sting out of things sometimes.

Regardless, the last conversation I had concerned baby steps. It brightened my day.

And this makes me laugh over and over again:

O Happy Day!

An Old Friend pt 2

The song I wrote about was Wheels of a Dream. It's like a little journey. There's a lot of amazing packed into 3 minutes.

Also speaking of old friends, happy last 4 minutes of your birthday Reed! He is old.

Gratitude

Last night I was spending some time with some dear ones and I totally had one of those "it sucks to be me" moments. Actually it continued through a lot of the rest of the evening. As discussed previously, those thoughts happen to everyone and sometimes beer just makes it a little more vocal!
So I feel I owe an apology to anyone I whined to, especially Rachel. waar-waaaar. There's nothing like a Debbie Downer at a Super Bowl playoff.
And I think I am going to give a shout out to the Secret and list the things for which I am grateful. These are in no particular order. I think this is a Secret thing. I heard grumblings about it at work.

I am grateful for:
1) My awesome job. I really I work with fantastic people and help produce theatre that I love.

2) My family. I think that I have mentioned this before but I have two: one is blood relatives. I don't get to see them nearly enough, but I love that when I do see them hours pass by in minutes (actually that part makes me a little sad because it seems like there is never enough time,) and they can make me talk on the phone for hours. And I hate talking on the phone. The other family is a little different. I would say that they were hand-selected, but I feel like they were kind of chosen for me too. One of my best friends became so because we both needed some roommates in college. I met the other three months before we started college and ran into her by chance three times later. We became inseparable on the first day of school. I feel like I have many other stories like these; people coming into my life at the perfect moment for us to begin a long-standing relationship.

3)That other college family that has recently come into my life more frequently the past 6 months. GO STILLERS!

4)My life in New York. Almost 6 years ago (in a week) I came here and it was so terrifying. I thought it would never work. I don't see myself leaving anytime soon.

5)All of the comedic material I get from the following:
My landlord and her crazy grandchildren: I think I will write my tell-all called Nona!!!!!!! I Need A Piece of Bread!!! or You Moved My Shoes. I Will Stab You!!!!
The Rock Of Love Series. A bus this season. Really???
Our neighbor I cannot write about because you will judge me as a horrible person.
The open mic night at Cronin and Phelan's.

6)My Calphalon cooking pans (thanks Mom and Larry!) and my addiction to the Food Network that allows me to eat well.

7)The great theatre that I have seen this year that moved me.

8)The coffee shops in Queens that provide hours of European lifestyle.

9)All the opportunities that are ahead.

10)Tomorrow, when change will come to this country. I understand that Barack Obama will not be able to fix everything, and that he is just a man, but he inspires people to be better. That is not something I have felt from our Government in my adult life. I like that.

This is getting long so I am going to wrap this up.

xo,
D

An Old Friend

I still find myself amazed at how powerful music is.

In my sophomore year of college I was taking out my copy of Act 1 of Ragtime and found that the cd was cracked in half. I was instantly angry and threw it down the stairs.

Just recently, a friend gave me the music from that first act. It's been so long. First there was resentment at the musical because the cd broke, and then there was the general push away from musical theatre. It's kind of funny that I ended up working at a theatre that has produced quite a number of musicals recently, and my ipod gets more and more showtunes on it.

There is one particular song on it that makes me want to drop everything I am doing for about 30 seconds. I find it so powerful that I just want to close my eyes and take it all in.

I guess I can't walk down the street to it.

You learn something new...

I watch UFO specials. I have always have had an attraction to the paranormal. Fine, I am weird or stupid. Call me what you will...

HOWEVER...

I was watching such a special on alien abduction, and I learned something new dealing with nightmares. I have had specific nightmares in which I am laying in bed and can't move, and then crazy things happen. In one particular dream, one of the shadows in my room bent down, picked me up and carried me around the room. Here, it turns out, I was having a common sleep disorder:

Sleep Paralysis - Quoting WikiPedia: Physiologically, it is closely related to the paralysis that occurs as a natural part of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is known as REM atonia. Sleep paralysis occurs when the brain awakes from a REM state, but the body paralysis persists. This leaves the person fully conscious, but unable to move. In addition, the state may be accompanied by terrifying hallucinations (hypnopompic or hypnagogic) and an acute sense of danger.[3] Sleep paralysis is particularly frightening to the individual due to the vividness of such hallucinations.[4] The hallucinatory element to sleep paralysis makes it even more likely that someone will interpret the experience as a dream, since completely fanciful, or dream-like, objects may appear in the room alongside one's normal vision. Some scientists have proposed this condition as an explanation for alien abductions and ghostly encounters.[5] A study by Susan Blackmore and Marcus Cox of the University of the West of England supports the suggestion that alien abductions are related to sleep paralysis rather than to temporal lobe lability.[6]

While it does not make the dreams any less scary, it does make me feel a little better knowing that there is science behind it! PS- The last time I had one of those dreams was around a year ago. Don't worry.

Anxious

I having one of those anxious moments. I am anxious about this coming Tuesday, anxious about the cold front passing (14 degrees high on Friday! EEK!,)anxious for my tax return - which will get filed once I get all of the appropriate forms. I am anxious to get the tax forms for the $20 interest I earned on a bank account. Awesome! I am anxious for someone to play their next move in scrabble. Also I am anxious for the weekend, a weekend where I can sit back and relax...

Okay maybe I should go meditate.

A New Year...

I officially can call myself the Assistant General Manager of Vineyard Theatre tomorrow. Crazy. I am a bit nervous for all of the new responsibilities.

It's funny, I have not been on this blogspot thing in a couple of days. Or weeks. And I was reminded today that I had a failed blog with only one posting that I wrote about a year ago. So much has changed since then, for better and for worse. The blog was titled Surviving the Box. Get it? I worked in the box office...

What I did have in this posting was a quote from Patty Griffin, who is probably one of my all-time favorite musicians. She says it on one of her live CDs right before one of my favorite songs, and it still chokes me up a little when I hear it:

"These are getting to be really weird times in the world, so , everybody hang in there won't you? And take care of each other."

That's all I have to say for now. I wish everyone the best in the upcoming year. And may we all be surrounded by love and a Snuggie, the blanket with sleeves that is sweeping the nation.

That's right, I said it.