I Just Want To Know Why!

Almost six years ago, when I moved to New York, I shared an apartment with three lovely ladies. At least once a month, the movie Steel Magnolias would be playing in the living room. One or many roommates would be tear-strewn in front of the television, hoping that Shelby would open her eyes. I included myself in these viewings, because there was something so freeing about watching this movie and bawling your eyes out. In two hours you could go through every feeling imaginable and move on. New York is hard. Well, life can be hard. Sometimes you just need to purge all of those negative feelings.

Sadly, we have moved into different apartments, and the copy of Steel Magnolias is long gone, most likely in Pittsburgh, or maybe still in the first apartment, being viewed by the guys from University of Florida that took the apartment after us, (at least that is how I like to imagine it...)

It's only Tuesday, but this has not really been the best week for me: Fears abound about the economy; Neo-Nazis are trying to kill people; a poor child was found murdered. Not to mention my recent breakdown of self-confidence. (Now before you think "Awwwwwwwwwwwwww..." and pity me, remember that we have all had these thoughts, and these feelings will pass like Shelby. Oh. Too soon.)

Tonight I was very lucky to notice a link to a live speech being given by Michelle Obama in Colorado Springs. For thirty minutes or so I was glued. She was magnificent and eloquent, and discussed what we could all rise up and do together. Within moments, my eyes welled up. The tears that I have been holding back for probably weeks just strolled out. It was so nice to hear someone speak about the great that can be had, about bringing out what is in all of us. Suddenly I wasn't feeling inadequate or ugly. I felt proud and excited. I feel like we are on the cusp of greatness.

And now I am putting it out there into the universe: Next Tuesday, I will be able to cry again. This time it will be tears of joy.